Saturday, July 5, 2008

Independence Day


When in the Course of human events, it becomes necessary for a distracted dieter to dissolve the political correctness bands which have connected them with another, and to assume among the culinary and dietary powers of the earth, the separate and equal station to which the laws of nature and of Nature's God entitle them, a complete and total lack of respect to the opinions of mankind,the American Medical Association and personal trainers everywhere, requires that he should declare the causes which impel him to the separation.

We hold these truths to be self-evident that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their creator certain unalienable rights, that among these are life, liberty, and the pursuit of the all you can eat breakfast buffet…

(When this is ratified by the hastily assembled congress, you can bet that my signature will be first and the largest on the page.)

Little guy left for the zoo early this morning with his aunt and uncle. The Mrs. took advantage of our childless status to make a daybreak assault on the local shopping mall. Fear her.

This left me with nothing but the paper and the local greasy spoon less than three blocks away. On this auspicious day, I declare my independence from the recommended daily allowance of anything.

On this day, eat ye of the egg, the greasy meat products, the fat laden caloric sweets, and drink ye the products of fermented grains and grapes. Because after all….
http://sounds.wavcentral.com/movies/braveheart/take_freed.mp3

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