Even Columbus Would Have Turned Back For Home

 Many different artists, many different flavors can be found on my iPod, but basically it still boils down to country, Christian, pop, rock, and some early R&B.  

When you stack that up against the almost infinite possibilities of music that's out there, it's a pretty narrow band width.  So, lets call the ball.  I have acceptance issues.  As I age, unlike other facets of my life, I find myself getting better, not being so set in my ways, when it comes to music. Cautiously optimistic that there's hope for me yet. 

 

Until tonight. 

Who, or better yet, what is Lady Gaga?  Did you see this train wreck on Idol?

Let me break it down for you:  Lady Gaga rhymes with Caca with starts with "C" and that stands for what the....

Let's put it another way.  I felt like I sailed to a new world, hit the beach and accidentally stumbled onto an exotic, ritualistic ceremony performed by oddly clad, unintelligible natives. Naturally, although mistakenly, I took what can only be Peyote induced spasms to be either a "we're about to sacrifice a virgin to the Gods" or "hey, lets eat the heart of the strangers and put their shrunken heads onto a totem" dance.  So out of self preservation, I instinctively pulled out my black powder flintlock,  put two rounds into my new 42" flat screen, told the assembled men from my landing party to bury the bodies, burn the huts, and never, ever speak of this day again. 

At one point during the performance, my wife let out a pitiful, pitiful gasp.  When I looked over she whimpered, "Hold me.  I'm scared....So cold" and began to suck her thumb as she curled into a fetal position.

What on earth did we witness there America?  Can someone translate for me?  If not, I may put two more rounds into it just to be safe.