In a Word

I got punk’d by my six year old last night.

He’s climbing into bed, I lean down to give him a little kiss, mom is behind us, off to the side with the usual bedtime book at the ready.

“Dad, let’s play a quick game. I’ll say the first part of a word, you say the rest, OK?”

“OK, make it quick.”

“OK. The word is happiness. I’ll say the first part, you say the rest.”

“OK”

“HAP”

“PINESS”

He puts both hands up to his mouth and begins to cackle, rolling around on the bed and snorting in laughter.

Takes me a second to realize what just happened. Breathing deep, trying not to smile, I begin to parent a little. “Very funny kiddo, but that’s not a very good word to say. That’s never OK at school, do you….”

From behind me I hear a half snort, the kind that only comes from someone trying hard to suppress the onslaught of an inevitable laugh.

I continue, “Listen kiddo that was a funny joke, but…”

More pained restraint from behind me, she’s losing the battle.

Still I press on, “look bub, I hope you and your friends aren’t telling anyone else that joke. Penis isn’t…”

…And now we’re done. Now both of them are cackling, howling actually. Little guy on the bed, mom with her head buried in the book and shoulders heaving with laughter.

Parenting moment gone. Today I’m waiting for the call from the school telling me my little Chris Rock is in the principal’s office