Rat Pact

I know you’re in this lab because you had a thing for the TA. That is until you found out his girlfriend was a Kappa, and your all like, eewww I hate Kappas. The lab’s all the way across campus and you’ll never use this behavioral psychology crap anyway since you’re going to be a hot fashion merchandiser, and stuff, with your BFF Bri from the Omegas. Then daddy said if you quit now he’ll take away the Mustang, so, like, you’re stuck and whatever.

So look it, let me make this easy one you. I’m going to make you a deal. A bargain, if you will. You like bargains right? Go ahead, get the gum off your finger, put it back in your mouth, shake your head up and down like this...good. Very good. I’ll make sure the information you have to write down on your cute little clip board that you've been so kind as to bedazzle is small enough that even you can handle it. Single digits, that means only one number. No fractions or icky decimals. Seriously, put the clip board down, and I’ll even scratch my paw over the column the little-wittie-bittie number goes in. Simple, right? Again, gum in your mouth, off your finger, focus please. OK. I’ll do it all semester long, and before you ask, that's like three months worth of classes. Really, really. Trust me.

All I ask is one thing, one very simple thing. Are you with me? Follow along. I'm down here. Focus. here's what I want.

For the love of all things holy, stop moving my freakin’ cheese!