Tuesday, June 17, 2008

Wet Work


Ok, new rule. If you take your kid to the pool, you must enter said pool with the child for pool time merriment. It is no longer acceptable to snap the goggles on the little one and then throw them into the water so you can scurry to the nearest deck chair to read the paper, talk on the cell phone, or nap.

There must have been 10 kids in the pool when I showed up with my little guy. No adults in the water. As soon as I dipped a toe in it was like a tiny-tikes feeding frenzy: “throw me”, “take me down the slide”, “I can touch nose with my tongue”, do you have more goggles?”, “How old are you?”-on and on and on. I came to play with my son, not baby sit town folk.

You there, yes you with your head buried in a Sue Grafton book, this is your son currently jumping on my back. I will pick him up by the foot and begin dunking him like a chip in salsa if you don’t perhaps say a word or two.

Excuse me sir, while I can appreciate the need for a cathartic nap, kindly explain to your daughter that spitting water through the gap in her front teeth, albeit cute, gets annoying after, oh I don’t know, maybe the fifth time.

People, get in the water. It’s not going to kill you. I don’t care what you look like in a bathing suit, no one does. Get over it.

No comments: