Wednesday, October 22, 2008

Manchester Meltdown


Yes, you’re a world power. Yes, you have a very rich history dating back several centuries, much longer than we do. Yes, our country was populated by your castaways. However, I still see no reason for the arrogance. Why are all the lymies so full of themselves?

See, I don’t really care that you backpacked your way through Marrakesh when you were in college. Doesn’t make you worldly in my eyes. Just means your parents have money and you don’t mind amoebic dysentery all that much. Yes, I know that you’ve traveled extensively throughout France and Germany. Let’s see, your country is the same size as Louisiana. You can hop a train, cut across the Chunnel, and be from London to Paris in 2.5 hours. Catch that same train and get to Germany, via Brussels, in a little over four hours. I would hope you’ve traveled through Europe.

See pal, I don’t have high speed trains. By car, I can barely be across my own state in four hours. Now, I can get to Arkansas in about three hours, which is like a whole other country. No, it’s not Paris. There’s no Louvre or the Eiffel Tower, but they do speak a foreign language. I’m sure to you, you pinky finger extended while you drink your tea type, that it's not the same thing. Whatever.

My point in all of this is to say, keep talking to me in that tone and I’ll personally insure your family tree appears vertical hence forth. Thank you that is all.

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