Crawfish and Killian's Principle, Part III

Now for the bail out…Once the EMS and Haz-Mat crews finished, state EPA and the Governor were called in to assess the situation. They suggested, more like demanded, that I immediately ingest a half gallon of Pepto followed by a six pound chunk of Immodium AD. They would then raid the state’s treasury to pay to clean me up and make me presentable again, and to fund the clean-up for the surrounding area. (Call it the $770 Billion bailout proposal).

As far as I’m concerned, I’m all for the bailout. Remember, I’m a financial institution that knowingly ingested way too much, but I can’t be allowed to crash and burn. Heavens no! There’s my shareholders to consider, and my executive pay that’s due..err..I mean there’s the economy’s health and consumer confidence to consider. I’d be for it as long as there weren’t any nasty riders with the bailout that led to an increase in regulation or scrutiny of my business and only in so much as I can be reasonably assured that I would perhaps be able to receive bail-out funds, be made immune to any prosecution for wrong doing, and can be relatively secure in the knowledge that the financial burden will be born by the suckers, oops, I mean tax paying citizens.

If you were Sammy’s, remember the firm packaging, selling, and making billions off of these fundamentally flawed investments, you want the bail out. You’d like it as long as there weren’t any nasty riders with the bailout that led to an increase in regulation or scrutiny of your business and only in so much as you can be reasonably assured that you would perhaps be able to receive bail-out funds, be made immune to any prosecution for wrong doing, and can be relatively secure in the knowledge that the financial burden will be born by the suckers, oops, I mean tax paying citizens.

If you were anywhere near the Texaco that evening, or let’s say the truly innocent shareholders of now bankrupt financial institutions, or those poor, poor, not-so-innocent people “duped” and “taken advantage of” who invested in these now dreaded adjustable rate mortgages, or borrowers of 125% of the value of their home, you’d be for the bailout regardless of the cost. Even if you had time to consider the fact that this will eventually come back to you in the form of higher taxes.

The rest of you, those not chemically burned from the Chernobyl like fall out, might be asking some questions:

Like shouldn’t Bill Filer help clean up and be financially liable for, Bill Filer’s mess?
Since it’s your tax dollars at stake, should you not have a say as to where it goes?
Should not everyone at the SEC, the FDIC, and the OCC be immediately fired for not stopping the train, or at least getting it to tap the brakes, before it crashed into the station?

I love Cajun food and beer. Always will. I’ll just have to wait a little while until this thing shakes out to see if I can go back to Sammy’s, or maybe find another joint to frequent. Either way, doesn’t really matter, one thing’s for sure: I’m going to eat, and eat, and eat……