Lower Abdominal Crunches

Every paper I've seen today has Michael Phelps on the front page, or near the front. 

 

Thinking about Phelps, makes me think about swimming.  Thinking about swimming reminds me what great exercise it is.  Thinking about what great exercise it is reminds me that we have a lap pool at the local community center.  The community center reminds me that I have a membership and no excuse not to go.  Thinking about going reminds me that I need trunks.

Thinking about trunks reminds me of the silly little speedos the Olympians wear.

Thinking about speedos makes me giggle.  Thinking of me in speedos makes be laugh out loud.

Seriously, the thought is so funny, so ridiculous, as to make me want to buy a pair.  Set up a camera pool side to catch the reactions of the suddenly infirm as they quickly find the exits, most trying in vain to suppress a violent gag reflex.  

Bright red speedos and flip-flops.  Nothing else.  Oh yes, I must do it.  

Blues in "B" (as in B22)

Trapped in Chicago,  My flight delayed

Flying really blows, But must get paid 

No cuts, no deals-yuck, no royalties

So in sales I'm stuck, till I'm eighty

Thursday I'll be back, Then start again

I'll pluck, strum, and hack, Edit again

Find rhyme and a hook, Chorus and verse

In my soul I'm shook, With this darn curse

Warning this should be, To all of you

Don't end up like me, (for the love of all things holy you big dummies) Please stay in school

Thank you.  That is all.

Still delayed.

Ah, Sports!!

The new Olympic sport men all across the country are playing. Right at home, in the comfort of their recliners, couches, and love seats:

Mental Ping-Pong

I’ve become a fan of beach volleyball. Women’s…beach volleyball
Is that wrong?
That’s wrong isn’t it?
No, look they're athletes deserving of respect.
Yeah Ok, you’re right.
That’s wrong.
Yes, definitely wrong.
I am wrong. Yes.
Yes…..indeed.
Turn the channel now. Matlock is on A&E
I am wrong.
But..
No…no-no.
Wrong!
Alright, I’ll de-program my DVR…soon. Like maybe after the next round?
No, Dang it…Now. I’ll do it now.
Yes, that’s best.
Wrong…
But..
No-No. Stop it…

The Things You Learn Over Pasta

I can’t remember if I’ve ever mentioned Sharp Objects by Gillian Flynn before. I believe its Ms. Flynn’s debut novel. It has been out for a while now. For a murder mystery type, not something I normally like, it was well worth reading. Very much so. The characters had such a depth of wrong in them that I couldn’t put it down. Surprisingly evil and dark.

In proof that it is a very small world indeed, I had dinner last night with some friends of Ms. Flynn. Turns out Ms. Flynn has her second effort in the hands of the publisher. Edits underway. Can’t wait for it to hit the stores.

Funny note: I commented to her friends that the characters in her first book were rendered so well as to make me wonder about Ms. Flynn’s background, i.e. she’s got some serious bones in the closet or just plain messed up. Nope. I’m told she’s from two of the nicest parents a girl can have, grew up in the suburbs, and had a very normal, standard upbringing.

Much respect sister, cause your book was mucho creepy.

On Cheering

Did you see the relay (Men's 4 x 100) last night? Tell me you saw it.

I can’t remember the last time my wife and I jumped up and down yelling and screaming like that.

Well, there was that time when at the urging of my wife’s brother, my six year old pulled a joke telling us about his plans to attend KU when he goes to college...

How fun was that? The relay, not KU. Please.

It's not too often that you get into something so much you lose your self-awareness. Both my wife and I ended up out of our chairs, just plain screaming, flailing our arms urging that dude to touch the wall first. Good times.

Short & Sweet

"Our goal is to be published songwriters, with a cut on the radio, by the time we are 40. 1,541 days to go."-orignally posted August 8, 2006

Say more in fewer lines.

Yes, I know. I know, I know, I know.

Here, let me practice:

"Brevity Sucks"

Thank you. That is all

Miles and miles to go. 809 days...

HBO Does Rome

History is cool. The history of Rome is particularly interesting to me. I was happy when Netflix mailed HBO’s first season of Rome. So, I watched all three DVD’s.

I’ve heard that HBO is working on a World War II mini-series. According to the way Rome is going, here’s how I think HBO will treat it:

Truman rises to power by stabbing Roosevelt like 100 times all the while spouting ancient poetry. Truman then goes on screwing things up in D.C. until such time that the country decides it no longer likes a democracy and needs a dictator.

Harry Truman end ups sleeping with Ike.

Ike, confused by his mixed feelings, ends up sleeping with half the underage girls in the USO. When he’s not sleeping with a 15 year old, he broods as he plans the conquest of Europe. Then, because it’s been five minutes, sleeps with the princesses of the fallen countries he crushes until they bear him a son.

Bess Truman, Harry Truman’s wife, strangely naked in all her scenes for no apparent reason, decides to sleep with General Patton, General MacArthur, General Bradley, all of the Joint Chiefs, the Vice President, Speaker of the House, Speaker Pro-tem, and the Minority Whip.

Hitler, also naked in all his scenes for no apparent reason, falls in love with his male page, Mussolini’s third wife, and Churchill’s pet Schnauzer. He constantly has to be bathed by his servants and spills wine down his front as he drinks it by the gallon.

Emperor Hirohito, secretly in love with Bess Truman, but put off by her constant nudity, decides to kill himself because, well…think about Bess Truman being naked and you begin to understand his inner turmoil.

Bess, still naked for the love of all things holy, decides she no longer loves her husband but cannot leave him because he is rich and powerful, but still yet decides to renounce her life because she too loves Churchill’s Schnauzer.

Ahhhhhhhhhhhh! I think I’ll read the book.