Look at my finger. Don't make me use it!

Hey people. I’m back, I’m back.

Well, yours truly and a new arrival to our country presently employed at the Budget Rental Car counter near O’Hare Airport recently engaged in a little verbal tête-à-tête that ended badly.

Spent two hours returning to the airport in a blizzard, cars all over the road slipping and sliding. It was white knuckle driving all the way. Keep in mind the drive out took 35 minutes. Two hours getting back. Like a dutiful renter, I stopped for gas in the midst of the weather carnage, lest I pay $6.98 per gallon when I return the car. Arrived alive, back at the airport, but by then I was like a nervous cat with taped up paws.

Did you know, gentle readers, that if your round trip in the rental car is less than 60 miles and you don’t keep your gas receipt, Budget ever so kindly levies a $13 dollar fee just for giggles? Me neither. I expressed as much to my friendly representative at the counter who proceeded to tell me, in rental car speak, the equivalent of “Tough Nuggies.”

People, reference above. My round trip was less than 60 miles yet I spent two hours getting back to the airport. Do the math on that. Late for my return flight, completely spent from surviving the gauntlet that is Chicago Northland rush hour in the snow and slop, I may have lost my cool a little at his attitude. Just a little.

The result was a verbal altercation that resembled a tennis match, each of us lobbing volleys back and forth in our native tongues-his Spanish, mine west central Missouri red neck. Imagine Boomhaeur from King of the Hill and a high pitched Ricky Ricardo yelling unintelligibly at each other for about three minutes. Good times. Made quite a scene.

Didn’t pay the fee, but I’m no longer welcome to rent from Budget at O’Hare. So sayeth Ricky anyway. I think. Sports fans, I pointed my finger. Angrily I might add. Kind of proud of myself.

Glad to be back. I gotta go now. Time to punch someone. Yeah, I’m all hard like that.