Back and Thawing Out

Been out of pocket for a few days. Took a quick trip to Canada. Yes, that Canada. Cold and snow up there. Go figure.

First things first, to all in Montreal, how you can put cheese curds and gravy on French fries is beyond my understanding. Frankly, I think you should have your own country there in Quebec if you’re going to act that way. That’s not just wrong. It’s a classification busting type of foulness that defies explanation.

Secondly, rental cars have the speedometers in kilometers. More than once I slammed on the brakes to slow myself down completely surprised to find myself driving 100, or 60 for those of us stupid English standard only Americans.

When in Ontario, you can never go wrong with jokes about beer or hockey (Maple Leafs in particular), just FYI. Any joke with New Foundland in it seems to be a hit as well. Recycled the same material over a day and a half with much success.

Spend any time in Toronto and you can clearly see that you do not know diversity like they know it. There’s nothing homogenous about any of it. Finding any three nationalities alike in a group of ten is a rarity. Helped an elderly Japanese man fill out a customs form, spoke to an Indian customs agent, asked questions of a Latin security guard, had dinner with two French speakers from Quebec, and met a transplanted South African. All very Canadian, yet different.

It’s easy to tell the Americans in Canada. Yes, Indeed. They’ll be the ones with their mouths agape, revulsion in their eyes, doubting they actually heard correctly when someone asked them if they wanted cheese curds and gravy on their fries.

Seriously. That’s not right.