Crawfish and Killian's Principle, Part I

Everyone’s talking about the proposed bail out. What does it all mean? Why do we need it? How much will it cost us? Legitimate questions everyone, worthy of an answer. Need help? Let me break this down for you guys in a way that is easy to understand and appreciate. I’ll break it into two entries for ease of digestion, so to speak…

Go with me, if you will, back to Baton Rouge Louisiana, on the campus of LSU in the summer of 2006. Yours truly was in his third and final year of graduate banking school.

Sammy’s Grill on Highland, a local favorite, had all manner of fantastic Cajun food on the menu. Line after line, row after row of deep fried, cholesterol laden goodness. In addition, there was an endless selection of cold, gold, barley type beverages to choose from (Consider the Food and drink to be mortgage backed securities, adjustable rate mortgages, and much too easy credit and lending standards).

Several of us, when not in class or diligently studying, frequented Sammy’s. Almost, a home away from home, if you will. I was therea lot. Now I, being of sound mind and body, and having reasonable intellect, know that too much fried foods and alcohol, do not a happy colon make. Yet, while there at LSU, I chose to test the limits of common sense and personal safety by attempting to find my maximum capacity of both, repeatedly. (Consider me to be a commercial bank, insurance company, mortgage bank, or financial institution).

Sammy’s sole function was to sell food and beverage. It’s not their job to insure that their customers are eating a well balanced, nutritious diet built upon the solid framework of moderation. In addition, they were so busy, so drunk with the success of their high flying business, that they may have, on occasion, failed to provide a sound quality control check on the ingredients they used to create the irresistible fare currently being devoured by people who ought to know better. (Consider Sammy’s to be a mortgage lender and investment firm packaging up, creating, and selling mortgage backed securities, adjustable rate mortgages, and providing much too easy credit and lending).

There’s me, eating and drinking, then drinking and eating, then, for good measure, eating and drinking some more. It was so good, time after time. How could you pass on it? Eventually, only when I consumed the maximum amount any person could consume, and my system registered dangerously full, I stopped. Simultaneously, Sammy’s found out that some of the raw ingredients they used, OK many of the raw ingredients they used, to create their culinary masterpieces had fundamental flaws in them. Significant flaws that could apparently make people sick if eaten in too great of quantities. Oops.

Part II Tomorrow…