Saturday, September 19, 2009

Ronald Rejected

On the way home from a meeting, I pulled off the highway for a little lunch. There was a homeless man at the bottom of the ramp. He was sitting on a nasty old bed roll and holding a sign that was too small to read.

This may sound bad, but I'm not normally much of a giver. Something struck me, for unknown reasons, so I picked up another value meal for my friend while in the drive through. Feeling good about myself, I pulled over before getting back on the highway and motioned him over. Told him that I couldn't offer a ride, but how about some lunch, holding the bag up for him to see.

My homeless friend, in torn jeans and an old shirt, smelling like, well I don't know what, curled up his nose, shook his head in mock disgust, and said to me "the grocery stores feed me, I don't have to eat that stuff." I sat there dumbstruck as he did an about face and went back to squatting on the corner without so much as even a "thanks anyway".

Those of you out there that are bigger than I am, a little more mature perhaps, will be quick to point out that it's not important that the transaction was or wasn't a success. What's important is that I was of the mind and spirit to be helpful. Full disclosure: after the vagrant declined my offer for lunch, gentle readers, I was of a mind and spirit alright. I was of the mind and spirit to exit my truck and make sure the cheeseburgers made it to his digestive system the hard way.

The sign the obviously choosy panhandler was carrying was too small to be seen clearly. Had I been able to see it, the message of "I am an epicurian currently eschewing traditional housing methods practicing a minimalist approach that will render my carbon footprint almost non-existent. Please do not offend my sensibilities by offering me foodstuffs served in a bag of any sort" I would have avoided the embarrassing encounter on the side of a busy highway. For you marketing students out there, the take-a-way here is clear: make your your advertising concise and your message unmistakable.

Lastly, how fat am I that I actually like eating at a place where the food is so miserable that not even the homeless will eat it?

1 comment:

Clorisa said...

Something similar happened to me in St. Louis a few years ago. A dude was holding up a sign at the entrance of a fast food place and David and I had seen him and talked about whether or not buying him something would be weird (we were punk 20-somethings at the time). As we were leaving the parking lot, I rolled down my window while taking a sip of my delicious beverage. I was about to offer him some money to go buy his own meal when I read that the sign was asking all of us to boycott the Burger King. Whoops.