Ladies and Gentleman, the President of the United States

The brouhaha over President Obama's plan to address students across the country is bordering on ridiculous.

Conservatives everywhere have have dropped their guns and are brandishing moral indignation like it's after dark in downtown Detroit. Democrats, have stopped scribbling hammers and sickles on the margins of their socialist agendas, holding their collective breath in anticipation that the President will finally, finally prove he truly does lean left.

Remember the first time you had blood drawn? You girded yourself up like a linebacker smelling a sack, breathing quickened, heart rate soared, brow furrowed, and guttural noises from way deep in the abdomen came out in grunts. You reached the climax of this tense ritual, closed your eyes, and curtly nodded to the the nurse indicating it's go time, only to find out she was done three minutes ago, the cotton ball covered with a band-aid the only evidence she was ever there. Felt kind of silly didn't you? If you didn't, a quick glance at the nurse trying to suppress a laugh at your expenses would have done the trick.

Well, all of you tin foil hat wearing republicans, and Lenin acolytes on the left side of the aisle, feel silly. Be embarrassed now. Go on.

Three things people: We still teach civics in this country. An address from the President from any party should be a great catalyst to get people discussing government, a usually boring subject no matter the age level.

Born from an inter-racial marriage, a divorce survivor, by his bootstraps ivy league educated lawyer, Senator, and now President, can you imagine how his story could resonate, inspire, and convict children and young adults of any creed or color that certainly anything is possible. If the Office of the Executive uses even 10 seconds of this time to stump for policy reform instead of hammering home the encouragement to stay in school and to reach for something, well, they are all fools. Parents, who cares about his politics? I intend to use him as an example of what could be if and when my son asks. I guarantee you our conversations will not be about domestic policy.

Lastly, what's the worry? If my son was to watch it, and I ask him tell me what happened at school that day, I'd get a report on what was for lunch, who he played kickball with at recess, and how many times his buddy threw up after eating the cricket they found behind the pencil sharpener. You think your teenager is going to run out and join the Peace Corps after the speech, or engage you in a dinner time conversation about the perils of corporate greed and the importance of looser immigration laws? Come on.

Republicans-Democrats. Democrats-Republicans. Blach. I'm tired of it. What's it all matter? Jen continues to live a lie with that hack Affleck, still not on the radio and 40 is screaming up my wazoo, I have hair growing on my back hair, and no one reads my pathetic drivel anymore because blogging is so, like, last year. Gentle readers, there are far more important things to think about than politics.

54 shopping days until my birthday, for example. Hey, I'm just saying...