As Seen On TV

Sit down for this, you're not going to believe it, but a TV commercial lied. Lied is harsh, I guess. Let's just say the commercial grossly overstated a product's ability to function in any way, shape, or form close to the manner in which it was demonstrated on an obviously rigged, made to look like a live action, commercial.

Yes, I'm referring to the Slap Chop. I got one for my birthday a few weeks ago. Only recently have I had a chance to get it out of the cabinet and take it for a test chop.

The overly-spiked, amped up blond guy on TV pulled a Sham-Wow on everyone with this worthless hunk of junk.

I slapped fast, slapped slow, slapped hard, slapped soft, slapped half-way, slapped it til it bottomed out. The frustrating device was slapped every way imaginable.

It doesn't chop, per se, mostly mashes and then conveniently leaves the pulpy results stuck to the blades for added enjoyment. Consequently, I have christened the device the "Stick and Pry".

The Stick and Pry was/is a big disappointment. It was a gift, which means I didn't have to pay separate shipping and handling at least.

Kids, let this be a lesson to you. Not everything shilled on television works as well as the Flowby. Buyer beware. Love the Flowby. Love it.