Oh Yeah, Another Thing

Ms. Parker’s story reminded me about something I wanted to post.

Usually I’m leery of songs that are supposed to tug on your heat strings. Often they end up just being overly sentimental cheese fests. But…

Brad Paisley’s Waitin’ On a Woman” is pretty darn good. Great hook, nice internal rhymes in the lyric, singable melody, and a great bridge.

I’ve read somewhere statistics show
The man’s always the first to go
And that makes sense ’cause I know she won’t be ready
(Waitin’ On a Woman-Don Sampson, Wynn Varble)

Come on…how good is that?

Then they go and put Andy Griffith in the video. I know. I know. You can see it coming. But I’ll tell you this: it works, at least on me anyway. By the end of the video I’m all types of gooey. Good stuff.

Which leads me to the old joke: Know why its always the husband who dies first? Cause he wants to…He-he.

Age

"We don't know why she's lived so long. But She's never been a worrier and she's always been thin."-Don Parker on his grandmother.

Formerly the oldest person alive, Ms. Edna Parker lived to be 115 years, 220 days old. She passed away on Wednesday.

Never been a worrier and always been thin. Hum...

Corrections, Errors, and Omissions

Gentle Readers.....Although I believe I vetted the Chinese Thanksgiving piece to the best of my abilities, and found it to be appropriately offensive without going over the top,and alert reader indicated that the father in the last sequence utters a word that could possibly misconstrued for something entirely inappropriate and not fit for public consumption. I've re-listened to it, and can see how the words could be misunderstood.

So in the interest of public safety, and having my mother return to earth to put the beat down on me, I have removed said entry.

So whilst I deal with the FCC, please note that I will immediately fire the editor of this humble publication and beg your forgiveness.

Happy Thanksgiving.

Recipe Cards and Labels

My spousal unit is gone. No, not permanently, just gone for a few days. Back Tuesday.

Gentlemen, like me, I'm sure you ask yourself when the wife's gone, is it two cups of Motrin every six hours or two teaspoons?

Another thing: what in the heck could possibly take 45 minutes to cook at 350 degrees? I'm not smelting iron for the love of Pete. However, just FYI, when it says 350 for 45, trying 500 for 20, is not a suitable alternative.

On the bright side, I've now found something to patch the cracks with in my driveway.

Captain Dork Strikes Sgain...

Cold last night. First real cold snap. Moving stuff, getting gas, in a hurry, and not paying attention.

Still cold today. Now I'm not just cold, but cold and torqued. Lost my stupid wallet in the melee last night. Credit card, social security card, debit card, gas card, license, and pictures of my little guys, everything.

Spoke to Raj Macan'tpronounceya this morning to cancel the credit card. Ever so helpful he was. In the midst of my troubles he wanted to sell me fraud protection. Sort of like offering me a fire hose after the house has burned down.

That's just the beginning I'm sure.

Wanna Get Away

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/27808624/?gt1=43001

(Ding) We’d like for you to stow all carry-ons in the compartment above you or under the seat in front of you. Please turn off and stow all electronic devices at this time, and bring your tray tables and seats to their upright and locked positions. Thank you.

Aaaaaaaaand if anyone on board has any commercial flight experience, carries any Xanex, Prozac, or Morphine on your person-no questions asked, happens to be good with a lasso, or managed to sneak a stun-gun past TSA-again, no questions asked, please be sure and ring your flight attendant call button.

..Oh yeah, we’re gonna go ahead and turn on the fasten seat belt sign at this time. We’ll be landing shortly…very shortly.

Busy week. Very busy.

Indulge me, if you will, and allow me to preach... just a little.

You know not the hour.

Been one of those weeks when the gravity of that statement sinks in clearly telling you that you have to pick a side.

Me? Well, no question here. I’m a card carrying member of the let nothing be left undone camp. As President and Chairman Emeritus of this club, one of my duties is to explain the basic rules and regulations to perspective members. They are few and easy to follow.

#1) If there’s a song to sing, a neck to hug, a baby to hold, a hand to shake, pie to eat, a slow dance to be had, or a person to kiss, and you knowingly choose to do something else, passing on even one chance for any of the above, you are not induction worthy and membership can never be conferred upon you.

#2) Refer to rule number one

Life is short, yes, but not short on opportunities.

Thank you. That is all.